Encouraging & Building Independent Play

Building and fostering independent play with children takes time and patience, it won’t happen overnight. It takes practice and patience!

Independent play doesn't always mean that you're in different space to your children when it happens. You could be sitting close by having a cup of tea or cooking dinner but the difference is that your children are not expecting you to play with them at that time.

Independent play can teach children how to be creative, imaginative and improve their focus, thinking and problem solving skills.

All children are different and some children are happier with their own company but for others it can be a struggle.

Q. How long should my child play independently for?

Below are some tips to encourage indpendent play in your home but before we get started on those I want you to have a quick read about how long your children may play independently.

A. On average a child should be able to focus on an activity or task for about 2-5 mintues for each year of age.

For example a child of:

• 1 Year Old is 2-5 mintues.
• 2 Years Old is 4-10 mintues.
• 3 Years Old is 6-10 mintues.
• 4 Years Old is 8-20 minutes.
• 5 Years Old is 10-25 minutes.

Tips for Encouraging Independent Play

Here are some strategies to help your children play independently.

1. Provide a Safe & Inviting Environment

Make sure that your play area is safe and child-friendly by removing any potential hazards and provide toys and resources that are age-appropriate and stimulating for them. This space should encourage freedom for them to choose their own activities and explore.

If you'd like to read more about this have a look at the blog Fostering Creative Play.

Create different activities or areas in your home with toys and resources. Rotating toys can also help to keep things fresh and interesting.

We personally do play space rotations in our home which you can read more about in another blog, Why I started Toy Rotation and its benefits.

Toy rotation can help to improve their attention span, concentration and focus. It also helps to foster creativity as they need to find new ways to use the same toys when they start to get bored (don’t worry - boredom is good for them).

2. Start Slowly

If your child is used to constant attention or playing with you, start by gradually increasing the time they spend playing alone. Make the time small and achievable for them to accomplish. Start with short periods and gradually extend them as your child becomes more comfortable. 

When you come back sit down and play with them, read them a book or talk about what they created. You can also tell them what you achieved.

3. Give them your Attention

Before you step away give your child all your attention. Put your phone in another room and sit down with them to interact with them however they want.

I know there might be dishes to do, washing to fold or dinner to cook but if you give your kids your undivided attention for at least 10 minutes (more is always better!) before you ask them to play independently, you’ll have a lot more success!

If you are struggling to focus on them, put a timer on your phone and don’t get up from playing with them until it goes off. You can even tell the kids “I am going to play with you for 10 minutes but when the timer finishes I need to go and fold the washing.”

4. Offer Choices

Give your child some toys or activities to choose from. When children have some control over their play, they are more likely to engage with it independently.

If children are younger observe their play and extend on their interests with invitations to play. Invitations can be really simple and effective for getting children to play, create or complete an activity whilst you step away for a few mintutes.

Read the blog Creating an Invitation to Play here.

Simply select a few things that work well together and place them together in an inviting way on the coffee table or floor and let your children play with them however they would like. I don't usually tell them what to do unless they ask what they can do.

Just a few examples are:

• Animal figurines and blue or green silk to be grass and water
• Pencils and paper
• Blocks and balls
• Magnetic Tiles and Peg People
• Waytoplay roads and cars
• Numbers and pom poms
• Letters and flashcards to match

5. Use a Visual Timer

Children are very visual and I find that having a visual timer works best for us as they can visually see how much time they have left to play on their own. We have a Time Timer that I use with them daily. It helps them to visually see how much longer is left at an activity or task.

6. Encourage Creativity

Provide open ended toys and resources that help to encourage imaginative play, such as blocks, magnetic tiles, or loose parts. These types of toys can captivate children's attention for longer periods as there is no set or fixed way that the toy should be used and therefore there is no right or wrong way to play with them.

For example: My daughter (2yrs at the time) used a tea pot and a block to shave my husband's face like she had seen a few days prior at the hairdresser. We didn't tell her "that's not a razor" or "why don't you use this?"

Instead we encouraged her to continue what she was doing by asking her to also give my husband a haircut by him saying "my hair is getting a bit long." She proceeded to put a skirt around his neck (as a cape) and use her fingers as scissors.

None of these items were the 'right' ones but they did the job and that's what open ended play is all about!

Read about our Top 5 Open Ended Toys on this blog.

7. Avoid Interputions

Let your child explore and play without interrupting or directing their play. Allow them to solve problems on their own and be nearby to support them if they need help.
For example: If you want your child to put their shoes away but they are happily playing independently, wait until they hop up from the activity they were doing and then ask them to do so rather than saying “when you’re finished playing could you put your shoes away?” Doing that is likely to distract them and they may not go back and continue their play.

8. Establish a Routine

Try to incorporate independent play into your daily routine. Having consistency can help children to feel more comfortable with the idea of playing alone. A great time to do this is rest time if children are older and starting to drop a daytime nap.

9. Praise Independence

Acknowledge and praise your child when they engage in independent play. Positive reinforcement can motivate them to continue playing independently.

10. Be Patient

Every child is different, and it may take time for your child to become comfortable with independent play. Be patient and supportive as they gradually develop this skill.

Remember that independent play doesn't mean your child is completely alone; they may still want to check in with you or involve you in their play. This is normal and can be a part of the transition to more independent play.

I hope this blog has helped you understand how you can help your children build more independent play and hopefully give you some time to have a cup of tea!